The Thought Was Unbearable
by Nikki-Loves-Bones
Summary: Brennan reads a letter that makes her think of what she had before he was gone.  Just a wee story I had to do in English Class.


**This isn't normally what I write but I had to do an essay in English class and I made this up... Reading over it then earlier, I thought of Booth And Brennan. I hope you like it :) R&R**

I walked down the hall just like I have many times before. The memory of what I have just been told lingered in my mind. Gone. He was gone. He had once told me that would leave before I would and I just started to laugh at him saying "yeah, yeah, sure you will".Things had always seemed like a competition between us and we were both always determined to win. We got on great even though we had our ups and downs in the past but everyone seemed to notice how in sync we always seemed to relationship had an ebb and flow to it that attracted attention from everyone but we didn't care. It befuddled many people as to how we could be fighting one minute and hugging gently or touching eachother the next.

Just then I stopped and realised. I had an had gotten on so well not because we were so different, but because we were so the same. We were both strong-willed, independent and both secretly damaged by our was so vivacious which I found oddly annoying at first, but over time I found his love for life and his trust in others endearing.I suppose, compared to him, I seemed tedious and distant to others, But to him I was perfect-as he once told he walked into a room, everyone stopped and stared at knew that they were all looking at him but it didn't phase him in the slightest.

My favourite memory of us was when we went for a walk through a local were only together a few weeks but I knew without a doubt that this would last walked hand in hand and smiled so much that my jaws were in was so carefree and childish and thats one of the reasons that I was so drawn to brought out my carelessness and made me feel jumped onto a swing and began seeing how high he could go and then I got onto the swing next to him to see if I could beat was the best time by far that I have ever spent with I asked others about me and him, They tell me that from what they have seen, they knew about our feelings before we I laughed at their statements but then I realised that they were right.

I turned at the end of the hall and went into a secluded broom cupboard.I found a bucket and turned it upside down to sit if I wanted privacy, I'd close my blinds in my office and stay there... but that just didn't seem like enough today- nothing was normal today.I had never felt so alone in all my life- not even when my parents and brother left matter how hard I tried to breathe properly, I couldn' though my life wasn't that long as I'm only in my thirties, I just couldn't get over head hurt from crying, My throat was raw from venting my frustratiuons, my body just seemed to ache though I had only found out the news a few minutes ago, It seemed like seemed like the sky was darker, the sun less bright and the clouds loomed overhead.I normally didn't cry over somebody leaving me because everyone seemed to do so eventually, but... he was... though he told me that he would leave before me, He had promised to stay as long as he could... stay for would always tease eachother about everything, We'd mostly talk about work, family, religion, sports- which i don't understand and anthropology that he said he needed a dictionary to understand.

I looked down at my hands. They were shaking. II claped them together and turned away.I felt like screaming or running- I couldn't decide which one more but all I knew was that I needed to make the pain go no matter what I thoughtof doing, Nothing seemed good I realised, I was mad. Mad at him for leaving, Mad at myself for not realising what we had for over 3 left me note that said it would explain everything if he ever left.I was given the note by his brother who was distraut over losing said that it would answer all my questions and show how he was still in my bag because I refused to open it.I couldn't, It was all a sign that it was real- I didn't know if I could deal with now? Now seemed like the time to do it.I opened my bag quickly which led to the zip ! He was only gone and alreday my life was falling was like the universe was telling me "Now that he's gone, everything is messed up".I flung my bag across the floor as much as I could, Still holding the note I opened it and read the note didn't make sense so I read it again but this time I read it aloud and now it seemed to make perfect said "You 1- Me 0".This was the first time that he had ever let me seemed that by him leaving, I got the point in this never-ending , It seemed that I was the loser in this him, I was a loser. I was nothing.

A game. It was all a game! I didn't know if I was happy or peeved that I got the pointHe saw our relationship as a game?All I was, was a player in the game?I committed myself to him. ME! I committed myself to somebody. I was sure that he was worth the I was wrong!I felt so dissappointed by this fact that I let the piece of paper float to the was only then that I saw the writing on the other side.I gently lifted it back up and read it."I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to go but you need to know that I have always loved you and that I always will.. No matter where you are or who you meet, Please just know this" was what the note read.I felt tears prickling to my eyes once again and for once, I let them fall. For weren't tears of pain, Not even tears of sadness, But ones of love.

I stood up and got my bag.I fixed my hair and wiped at my eyes.I lifted up the broken bag and placed the note in my jeans , he had gone and the feeling was , he had left me even though he told me that he loved me. Sure, it hurt to move, breathe, think but he had once told me that even if he left, if he went before I did, that he would always be with had dangerous jobs and we knew the risks but we needed eachother and so we took eachother as partners in all ways possible.I was still angry with him but there was nothing that I could wasn't here and I was.I wouldn't be able to go and meet him for pie and coffee in the Diner- well pie for him and a salad for couldn't sit and watch the sunset while walking along the beach that he thought was 'Romantic' or watch the sunrise while lying in bed and whispering sweet nothings to though I didn't have him to do this with now, Whenever I would catch the first glimpse of the sunrise or if when cming home from the lab, I saw the sunset, I wasn't seeing the sun, but seeing his for now, this would have to be enough until we were joined together once more.

**So what do you think? :)**


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